“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?” (Psalms 13:1-2a, ESV) When reading many of David’s Psalms, especially these so full of sorrow, the utter hopelessness that he felt, I feel a unique kinship with him. Even more I learned a good response to these feelings, because after lamenting feeling as if God is hiding from him and forgetting him, David sings: “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” (Psalms 13:5-6, ESV) However, there’s something else that helped me greatly during the darkest time of my life. Last week I shared about how CYIA can have an important impact on a teen’s life and gave a challenge for all of us to encourage teens to participate  When I was a teen, I would have never guessed how God would use my participation in my life.  I’ll share my story, really God’s story.  

 At camp I heard supervisors warn the teens that the devil will be against them in many forms from an aggressive person to their witness, a dog interrupting club, or hindrances to getting and starting clubs, wanting them to be prepared for the World that sets itself against Christ. In my experience, the truer warning I might give a student going to this program is this: it seems too simple, just do these things, memorize these verses, practice this lesson,. So, it’s easy to goof off, to focus on rote memorization of the sample lesson and hope that this is enough. I would tell them, those silly lessons and bite-sized verses can be more powerful to you than you could ever imagine, so be diligent in learning the lessons and memorizing the verses.  

As I’ve shared, I spent considerable time in my high school years at CYIA and in children’s ministry. Simultaneously, I started a time in my life when many things became difficult for me. Looking back at my whole life, it’s hard to pinpoint the exact time, but when I was around 14, I started to struggle seriously with health. It started with sleep issues. After a few months, I grew better, went to my second year of training camp and Five Day Clubs, and continued through the summer thinking I was fine. However, that fall my health deteriorated rapidly. Within two months, I went from a normal 14-year-old teenage girl to nearly bedridden with nearly constant pain. Pain woke me early every morning, so for a few hours before my family woke, I watched TV because it distracted me slightly from the pain.  After going to doctor after doctor, spending years chasing a dozen different causes, I received diagnoses that resigned my life to one of constant struggle with health. It took over six years to discover the genetic diseases I have, and as of now, there is no cure for me. 

Adding to my physical pain, I experienced loss and loneliness because during this time I lost many friends, especially those of my age. I’m not exactly sure the reason. Maybe it was nothing more than it’s hard maintaining a friendship with someone who spends so much time in pain, who is so exhausted they have limited energy, who is slowly becoming hopeless because of the constant struggle and disappointment.

However, somehow during this time there are a few things I never gave up no matter how much pain I was in: CYIA each year and my weekly volunteering for both morning services at my church. Looking back, I almost laugh at myself because I’m not sure how I actually did it; I  credit God for giving that precious endurance. I even went to two camps on crutches because of my health issues and brought special food for myself or coordinated with the camp for a special menu. 

Due to all these struggles, it might not surprise you the next struggle in my life was mental illness. My first year of college included my admission of suicidal depression and an anxiety disorder manifested in daily panic attacks. It took time to work through these, and I can praise God for the people He placed in my life, especially my family and my counselor. However, one other thing that I believe helped me immensely was the training I received at CYIA. I know – it might seem a stretch. How could children’s bible lessons possibly help suicidal depression and severe anxiety? How could learning a simple method of telling the Gospel do anything more than help in missions? But that’s my story. I memorized many stories, learning to look for the pieces of the Gospel that hide all throughout the Bible: God’s presence in the story, a connection to the believer of God, an example of sin, and a way out from sin. That helped keep me centered on God when everything seemed to be falling apart at the seams. How could learning the Wordless book help? Well, when whispers and nightmares beg for you to end everything, to just give up entirely, what do you think might help? The memorized verses. In those moments of darkness, when it feels like something is literally bringing up everything possible to make you to anxious and depressed, I can’t express the feeling when I heard that still small voice repeat: “If you confess your sins, He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you of all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:9), “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. [You are saved]” (Romans 10:9), “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19), “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8), and more. 

What I learned at CYIA was a foundation that lasted through extremely dark days. I believe that could just as likely help any teen that decides to go.  So, even if that young person doesn’t want to teach and aren’t sure about volunteering with kids in children’s ministry, I believe this training can be life changing for anyone that takes it seriously. Memorizing God’s word is never fruitless, and learning the basics of CYIA can give many teens a head start in staying above the storms that rock our lives on this earth.